It’s much harder to tell someone if they just found out they’re infected with herpes.For most people, the anxiety over not telling your partner you have herpes is worse than the telling itself.This strategy may have more disadvantages than advantages.First of all, you spend a lot of time and energy worrying that your partner is going to get herpes.The attitude is generally not to worry about it unless there's an outbreak, then don't have any physical contact till the outbreak is over. However, the more I've learned about hsv-1 and the possibility of infection, particularly related to oral sex, has led to a change in approach. She's never had a cold sore, and says a doctor "tested her for everything" recently, and all was negative, so she doesn't think she's ever been exposed to hsv-1. No oral sex, and she's a little freaked out in general.
Recently, I started talking online with a new guy who made me feel all of the tingles and energy that signal the beginning of an exciting new relationship.
Q2) If the hsv-1 status of a partner is not known, is complete oral sex abstinance the suggested course? However, even though many, if not most, sexually active people have about the same level of risk as I do, few bring it up.
So its like I'm having a difficult "STD disclosure" discussion, early on in the relationship that most people just kind of ignore and stay blissfully ignorant of. The likelihood of someone having oral herpes probalby is almost as high in someone who says they don't have it as in those who say they have had cold sores.
He told me I could take as much time as I needed to feel comfortable having sex with him.
He had been infected as a teenager and was used to managing outbreaks and mixed reactions from partners, which explains why he was so patient with me.